


I Might be Okay, But I'm Not Fine at All

by StateOfEmilyGrace



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Iron Dad, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, This my first fan fiction in 5 years so please go easy on me, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 00:24:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15874758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StateOfEmilyGrace/pseuds/StateOfEmilyGrace
Summary: On the anniversary of the deaths of Peter's parents, he struggles to feel okay. Tony Stark, being able to relate, just might be the perfect person to help.





	I Might be Okay, But I'm Not Fine at All

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, folks. This is my first fic in 5 years so please go easy on me. It's really weird to write for someone else's characters when I've only been writing OCs for so long. I used this as a sort of warm up to get used to it again, and get comfortable writing from the voices of Tony and Peter. It might be sloppy but it was rough to write so please forgive me.

 

Peter felt his stomach churning from the moment he woke up that morning.

He had expected it, though.

There was pressure in his jaw and a burning behind his eyes from the moment he saw the light from the window.

He had expected that, too.

The clutching to his blankets and hiding his face in his pillow was easy to predict after falling asleep to salty cheeks and red eyes.

He didn't know why he still felt so shattered. It had been, what, almost a decade? That didn't make it any easier, though. Why didn't it make it any easier?

_People asking what his parents do for a living._

_Friends asking if he looks like them._

_Movies and TV Shows only showing perfectly put-together families but never showing a family like_ his.

None of it is easier when your parents are gone. Peter had been a lost puzzle piece for so, so long. And despite being loved and happy in a new puzzle box entirely, he would always know he didn't quite fit into May and Ben's finished picture.

Sure, they were like parents to him, but there was always that nagging _"it wasn't meant to be this way"_ in the back of his conscience each day. It clouded everything just enough so that he couldn't go a day without the guilt that he was here but his parents and uncle weren't.

And on the anniversary, like always, Peter curled into his sheets and tried to will himself back to sleep. May didn't make him go to school. She'd take the day off if she could. Ned would come over at night. Peter would look through half-full photo albums with them and allow himself- for one day- to wallow in the loss of his parents.

Peter had been staring across the room at a picture of him and his mom when there was a soft knock on the door. May peeked her head in, and he gave a weak smile when she caught his eye.

"Oh, baby" She sighed, rushing in and sitting on the edge of his bed. Peter rolled onto his back slowly, wanting to say something but deciding it was best not to open his mouth. May understood, though. She always did.

Her hand started to card through his hair and she spoke to him. "Positive thoughts today, alright? As positive as we can make them" she said softly as her nephew leaned into the touch.

Peter managed a nod in return. It was then that he realized May was dressed for work. He swallowed a lump that started to grow in his throat, trying to look anywhere but at his aunt.

_No, no, no. She can't go to work today. Not today. He couldn't be alone. He already lost too much. He needed to be surrounded by the people he still had. He needed her. He needed May._

"You- you have work?" He managed to ask tightly, somehow keeping his voice from cracking too much. His aunt's face fell, and her hand stopped moving through his hair.

"They, um... they called me in last minute. There was a major accident by the bridge, and they need all hands on deck. I'm sorry, baby. I know today is hard, and I know we have a tradition... but I've gotta go help" she said solemnly.

Peter bit his bottom lip to keep it from quivering.

_He's alone. He's alone. He's alone. He's alone._

"I'll be home by six. If you need me _at all_ , Peter, at all, then call me. I'll be back as fast as I can be." May insisted, running her hand through his curls again.

Peter nodded, trying not to let his disappointment show on his face. He understood that she had to go. Heck, if there was an emergency, he'd suit up and swing to the site as fast as possible. Not to mention the fact that they needed all the money they could get from May's job. He just really didn't want to be alone, though. He _really_ didn't want to be alone, and if Ned was at school and May was at work, then he had nobody.

"Why don't you call Tony?" May suggested.

_Tony?_

Peter furrowed his eyebrows at his aunt almost immediately.

"What's that look?" May laughed, confusing Peter even more.

"May, he's _Tony Stark_. Billionaire. Iron Man. _Avenger_. He's not gonna waste his valuable time hanging out with a depressed teenager all day. We aren't that close. I don't even think he knows my middle name, let alone what today is" Peter explained, sitting up.

It was just a day. Just a stupid day. Yet it left him hollow and immobile every year.

"I highly doubt that, baby. You know I'm not the biggest fan of that man, but I do know that he cares about you." May disagreed.

"Yeah, but not... not that much. He's _Tony Stark_ and I'm just-" Peter began, but May held up her hand to silence him.

"Don't finish that sentence. You're not 'just' anything. Now I have to head out. Be safe today. Call me if you need me, alright? Promise?" She said.

"Promise" Peter assured her. May smiled at her nephew, gave him a quick kiss on the crown of his head, then stood up.

"I'll leave some money on the counter for take out of you'd like it. Just take it easy today." May stated as she walked towards his door. Peter gave her a week smile in return.

"I love you, baby."

"Love you too, May"

Then the door was closed. He was alone.

His muscles went stiff and his eyes began to water.

_Alone_.

Peter wrapped himself up in his blankets and squeezed his eyes shut. He had to sleep it away. He had to get away from his thoughts.

The teenager glanced back over at a picture with him and his mom, then looked at the picture of him, his parents, Uncle Ben, and Aunt May all at his kindergarten graduation.

  
_Keep it together, Peter. Keep it together._

The sound of the front door closing as May left is what did him in. And once the tears started, they didn't stop.

-

Tony had been pouring his first cup of coffee when his phone rang that morning. Thinking it was something business related, he was tempted to send it to voicemail. That is, until he saw May Parker's name on the screen.

The man set his coffee down and stared down at his phone.

Did he do something wrong in the past twenty-four hours that he couldn't remember? Was something wrong with Peter? Why on earth would she be calling him at eight in the morning on a Tuesday?

Before it was too late, he answered the call and put it too his ear. His suave persona came out without him even to think about it.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, May Parker?" He asked calmly, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Tony! Thank you for picking up! What are you doing today?" The woman on the other end asked eagerly.

"Probably some Stark Industries business, why?" He asked, putting the mug down and leaning against the counter.

"I need to ask a favor of you" May admitted, and Tony raised his eyebrows. "A favor?"

"Yes, for Peter" May continued, and Tony's lip quirked slightly at the name.

"Say no more. What does the little tike need?" He asked.

"Company. Just company." May replied. Tony furrowed his eyebrows again.

"Is he... sick? If so, he can come to the tower. We have a great medical team. Lots of doctors. He'd be better in no time. Bruce Banner is here, too. He has seven phd's and I'm sure he'd have no problem helping-"

" _Tony_ ," May interrupted, "he's not sick."

Stark was even more confused then than he had been at the beginning of the conversation.

"What's wrong, May?" He asked more seriously, ready for a straight answer. There was a brief hesitation on the other end of the line. It was just long enough for Tony to wonder whether or not he should be worried for the answer.

"It's the anniversary of his parents' deaths, Tony" May informed him.

Oh.

"He's home from school and I usually take the day off, but there's an emergency and I need to go in. This date is always hard on him, and I've never left him alone before to deal with it. He refused to call you, so that's what I'm doing. Do you think you could stop by, give him a call, or even just text him? It would mean the world to both me and Peter."

Tony swallowed, absorbing all she said for a moment.

"I'm heading over now" He said, already moving towards the elevator.

"Thank you, Tony. _Thank you_. Gosh, I owe you for this. You don't have to stay long. As long as you check up on him, you know?" May gasped.

"I'll stay as long as he lets me, May. You don't owe me anything and you don't need to thank me." Tony replied with a small smile.

"Well, I mean it. I have to go, now. Thanks again, Tony. Thank you so much." May said quickly.

"Anytime" the billionaire replied, hoping into his Audi and ending the call.

"FRIDAY, clear my schedule for today!" He hollered. "Already done, boss" his A.I. replied.

Not wasting another second, Tony closed the door and started his car.

-

Peter was wrapped in his comforter, watching old family videos of his parents and him when there was a knock on the door.

For a moment, the boy considered not answering. His conscience got the better of him, though. If someone needed something, he couldn't just ignore them. So, Peter paused the TV and got himself up and out of his cocoon of blankets.

When he finally opened the door, he actually took a step back in surprise.

"Jesus, kid. You look like hell" Tony Stark teased. Tony. Freaking. Stark.

"W-wha... w.." Peter stammered as his hero and mentor smiled at him, dressed to the nines as always, and at his door.

"Bring it in, kiddo. It's a hug this time" Tony said as he opened his arms. Peter was too stunned to move, but Tony stepped forward and wrapped his arms around him anyway.

"M-Mister Stark? What, uh...what are you doing here?" Peter asked, still with one hand on the door knob and the other hanging loosely by his side.

"Your Aunt called and told me what today is. You don't think I'd leave you all alone, did you? Now hug me back, for Christ's sake, this is getting awkward." Tony laughed in a non-joyful kind of way.

Oh.... _oh_. Oh god. How was he even supposed to respond to that? Of course Aunt May called him. He should have expected it! Not that it was a bad thing- it wasn't- Peter just wished he had maybe gelled his curls down or put on clean clothes. He could smell the cologne and motor oil on the man he admired, and he was sure he smelt more like a teenage boy. The point was, he wasn't at all prepared for Mister Stark to have shown up, let alone be _hugging_ him.

After an uncomfortable stretch of silence, Tony spoke again.

"Look, kid. I know I'm not exactly skilled in the area of comforting teenagers, but I'm pretty sure that a hug is supposed to go two ways. Please don't make this any more awkward than it already is" Tony admitted. After another moment of no reaction from Peter, Tony started to pull away. That's when too smaller arms pulled him in and a head pressed to his chest. Tony resumed his tight grip in response.

"Thank you, Mister Stark" Peter breathed, closing his eyes and cherishing the feeling of someone hugging him.

_Not alone. Not alone. Not alone._

"Tony" The older man mumbled with a laugh, resting his chin on the boy's head. "Thank you, Mister Tony Stark" Peter replied teasingly, and his mentor playfully pushed him away and ruffled his curls.

"So, what can I do for ya, Pete? Hot chocolate and a movie or a spontaneous trip to Bermuda. Whatever you need, I'll provide it" Tony smiled, stepping into the small apartment.

Peter's cheeks started to burn red at the mere thought of his hero offering to hang out with him. Ned would never believe this.

"You, uh... um, if you have work... that's-that's fine. I'll be fine. Thank you for coming, though...and for offering. It means a lot" Peter said shyly, fidgeting awkwardly.

Tony stopped surveying the apartment and turned to look at the kid. "Trying to get rid of me? Do you not want me here, kid? If you want to be alone, I get it. Trust me" The man stated.

Peter's eyes went wide again.

"N-no! No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I figured, you know, that you'd have more important things to deal with" Peter mumbled, incredibly uncomfortable and really just wanting to go back to the safety of his blanket cocoon.

His mentor raised his eyebrows at him. "More important than the well being of my favorite kid?" Stark asked in an offended voice, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Peter nearly shrieked. "Favorite...favorite kid?" He swallowed. "Pete, this is getting exhausting. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be. Now what's on the agenda?" Tony replied, scanning the room again. His eyes landed on the paused TV. On the screen, a young boy with big brown eyes and a head full of messy curls was smiling at the camera with a magnifying glass clutched in his hands. There was a woman in the background that Tony figured was Peter's mother.

"I, uh... I was just watching some stuff" Peter mumbled, wrapping his arms around himself. He needed to wrap himself in blankets again. He needed the weight, pressure, and comfort of a constant hug.

"Okay, cool. Have you eaten yet?" Tony asked, noticing Peter's anxious stance. He put his arm around the boy and started leading him towards the couch. He couldn't ignore the way the boy subconsciously leaned into the touch.

Peter shook his head and nearly dove for his blankets as they reached the couch. Immediately, he started to wrap himself up in them. "Well, Spider-people need to eat, so I'll make you something. You just stay right here and do what you need to do. Let me know if you need me" Tony stated, watching the boy desperately swaddle himself into comfort.

When Peter was satisfied, he looked up shyly. "Thank you" he said, still disbelieving that Tony _freaking_ Stark was about to make him breakfast. "Anytime, Spider-boy" the man smiled. He ruffled the teenager's curls one more time before waltzing into the kitchen.

He peered around at the cabinets, trying not to focus on all the family photos around him. He wished it wasn't the case, but he hated them. God, he hated family photos with a burning passion. It had nothing to do with Peter, or anyone else, really. It was just because his own family photos were cold. They didn't remind him of the good things, only his dad. Howard's firm hand on his shoulder, posing with a smile for the magazines, but letting it fade on the ride home.

Depressing, right? Well, that's just what Tony was trying not to think about as he pulled open the fridge to look around.

Immediately, he saw that it was far too empty. There was barely enough food to feed a normal teenager, let alone a genetically enhanced one.

Sighing, he closed the door and headed back towards Peter.

Tony froze the moment he realized the TV was on, and the screen was displaying a woman holding a young boy who was, without a doubt, Peter. Tony assumed the woman was his mother. Pete had her eyes. The big, brown eyes, so full of innocence and youth.

_"Our little scientist!"_ A man's voice behind the camera exclaimed.

Tony figured it was Peter's father.

_"You can see everything more clearly with that" his mother smiled, ruffling his curls in the same way that May did- in the same way Tony sometimes did. The young version of Peter leaned away, giggling._

He always leaned into it now. Tony had a hunch as to why.

_"Like my glasses?" The little boy on the screen asked, inspecting his new gift. "Just like that, but it'll make things bigger, too. Try it out" his father urged excitedly. The young Peter held the magnifying glass up to his eye, making it appear to grow five sizes. He lifted his other hand up and inspected his fingers. "Woahhhh" the four-year-old gasped._

Tony couldn't help but laugh at how adorable it was. He laughed a little too loudly, though.

In a moment, the home video was paused and Peter was looking back at him with wet eyes.

Oh, God, _tears_.

"Hey, Pete. How, uh, how are you over there?" Tony fumbled, making his way towards the teenager. He had never done this before. How could a man made of iron comfort someone? What if he screwed up?

"Y-you don't- I'm okay, Mister Stark. I'm sorry" Peter sniffled. "No apologies" Tony replied quickly, sinking down onto the couch next to the teen. The boy nudged closer to him, but Tony didn't think he even noticed it.

The genius caught onto this silent craving for physical contact quickly, and put his hand on the boy's shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Do you wanna talk this out, or just keep it in your head?" Tony asked quietly, trying to approach it the way he had always wished his dad would.

"Maybe later" Peter mumbled in response, sniffling again as he kept his eyes locked on the television screen. "Okay. Can I do anything for you?" Tony asked.

"I thought you were making me breakfast" Peter gave a sad laugh, looking over at his mentor. "Yeah, until I realized you have just about no food in this apartment." Tony replied.

Peter's gaze dropped instantly. "S-sorry. May's getting paid later this week. She left me a twenty for take-out, though. If you want, I can run to the store and-" Tony held up his hand, and Peter stopped talking upon request.

"What's your favorite breakfast? I'll have it here in no more than twenty minutes" Tony asked, and Peter's eyes went wide. "No, no, it's fine, Mister Stark. I'm fine. You don't have to do that" the teenager stammered, sitting up straighter.

Tony just sighed, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "Peter, I'm a billionaire, and you're a spider-boy that needs to eat, and I don't want you to be hungry. Just tell me what your favorite breakfast food is so we can skip our usual back and forth."

Peter kept his mouth in disbelief before giving in. "Scrambled eggs and toast" he sighed, sinking back into the couch. He watched as his mentor pulled out his phone, dialed a number, made an order, bribed the restaurant into delivering it, then set the phone down.

"All set. Do you wanna keep watching?" Tony asked, gesturing towards the TV. After a brief hesitation, Peter nodded and nuzzled into his blankets a bit more. He picked up the remote and pressed play.

_"How's it look, Bud?" Peter's father asked from behind the camera. "Cool!" The four-year-old replied. "Oh, good" his mom smiled, taking the magnifying glass when Peter offered it to her. She held it up to her eye just as he had. Immediately, the child burst into fits of laughter._

_Soon, the camera was propped up on something and Peter's father was capitalizing on the laughter by ticking his son._

_"Stop!" Peter shrieked with giggles as his mom joined in. "We gotcha! We gotcha!" The woman teased, reaching for his feet and tickling the bottoms of them._

_What started as innocent playfulness turned into an asthma attack, though, and soon Peter's father was worriedly sticking an inhaler into his son's mouth as the boy struggled to take a satisfying deep breath._

_When Peter was well enough to straighten his glasses, his mother reached for the camera and stopped the video._

"I can barely remember them" Peter whispered while the screen was black.

Tony pulled the teen a bit closer, rubbing his thumb in circles along the back of Peter's neck. "I sometimes feel myself forgetting things about my parents... it's not your fault" he said softly, still wondering if he was helping at all. The sound of a sniffle confirmed his fears.

"I try to think about them more. I try to let them know I still love them, but I can barely remember them. What kind of a son can't remember his parents' voices without the help of old videos?" Peter's voice sounded more watery this time.

"You were a kid, Peter. You may be a genius, but you were far to young to have the memory you're wishing you had" Tony tried to reassure him. The teen just gave a small sigh and a sniffle in response then fell silent. They went on watching the TV again.

_Peter was much younger in this one. He was up on his father's shoulders as they walked along a beach. They were singing and laughing, and Peter had his arms out like he was flying. At one point, Peter clutched his dad's head out of fear that he'd fall._

_"Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you" The man said firmly but gently, and the young Peter relaxed a but._

_"Neither will I"_ Tony thought to himself, continuing to rub the base of Peter's neck.

_Peter was six years old in the next video, and he was wearing a backpack nearly half the size of his small body. His mom gave him a kiss on the forehead and handed him his lunchbox. The boy looked nervous but excited. It was evident in those big brown eyes._

"I always got sick when I had the fishsticks at lunch. I should have had the fishsticks at lunch and they would have stayed home to take care of me and they wouldn't have..." Peter breathed. Another sniffle. Tony shook his head tiredly, remembering all too well what it was like to have those thoughts. He still had them.

"It wouldn't have changed anything, Peter." He said what he had always wanted hear. The teen was silent, though.

_On the screen, a young Peter was at a store trying on many pairs of glasses. Some were far too big for his face, others were far to small. They had them in every color, and Peter smiled up at the camera every time he put on a new pair._

_Eventually, he gave a wacky pair to each of this parents and the camera was turned towards a mirror on the wall. All three Parkers were smiling goofily into the camera and laughing at their appearance._

Another sniffle.

_Peter was a baby, smashing around the food in front of him while in his high chair. "Peter's first solid food" his mom laughed, looking down at was now a pile of mush and crumbs. She ran her hand through the child's little curls._

Tony laughed lightly, not realizing when his own hand had suddenly started doing the same thing to the older Peter next to him.

Was it okay for his fingers to be fiddling with the boy's hair when it was clearly something his mom had introduced to him? Was it fair to step slightly over the line of mentor-mentee? Would Peter even want that? Was it even Tony's right?

The moment he slowed his hand to a stop and moved it away, Peter looked him. The teen's face was damp with tears, and his eyes were full of worry.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly, sniffling again. Tony almost cackled with the irony of that statement.

"Am I okay? _Me?_ " He asked disbelievingly. "Yeah, you got all stiff all of a sudden" Peter replied. "Oh" Tony exhaled, "yeah, I'm fine." Peter nodded, looking away shyly as if he had overstepped.

"How 'bout you, eh? Are you okay?" Tony wondered aloud. For a moment, there was no response. Tony knew it was a stupid question, but it was one he felt obligated to ask.

"Of course not, Mr. Stark" Peter replied, sounding more at peace than Tony had expected.

"I'm okay, though." The teen suddenly added. Tony furrowed his eyebrows and looked at him. "You're not okay, but you're okay?" He asked quizzically, almost laughing.

Peter gave a soft nod in response, looking over at the paused TV. "Yeah. Okay, but not _fine_ " The boy resolved.

It took Tony, in all his genius glory, a few seconds to process and figure out what he'd heard.

Okay, but not _fine_. The kid was always _fine_. The stupid word was practically his trademark. Tony had known the kid for a little under a year and he had probably heard "I'm fine" out of Peter more than everyone else in his life combined.

Peter was always at least fine. Shot in the leg while on patrol? " _I'm fine_." Fell off a 3 story building because he ran out of web fluid? " _I'm fine_." Getting told he can't go on a mission with the Avengers despite having been invited to join them weeks before? " _I'm fine._ "

Tony had hoped to hear those words again.

Was _he_ "fine" years after the deaths of _his_ parents? No. That wasn't the point, though. He didn't want Peter to feel the way he did. Tony couldn't change it, he knew that, but _God_ did he want to.

"Oh" he finally replied. When had his hand ended up in Peter's mop of curls again?

"My mom used to do that" Peter said softly, "it's one of the only things I remember clearly about her." Tony lowered his hand again, but the brief hint of Peter's sadness at that action caused him to resume his hair-playing and head scratching.

Peter settled back into a comfortable position and pressed play on the remote.

_A six-year-old Peter was beaming as a birthday cake was placed in front of him. There were six candles stuck in it and burning brightly. May and Ben Parker were standing around Peter as his mom crouched down next to him. Peter pushed up his glasses as they finished singing, then blew out four out of the six candles. He laughed along with his family, then took a deep breath and blew the rest out._

"I wish I had filmed them, not the other way around" Peter mumbled as May took the camera and filmed Peter's father going to hug him.

"I know, kid" Tony replied, and they continued watching.

With each video, Peter curled farther and farther into himself. His cheeks got wetter and wetter. Yet, Tony's hand kept moving soothingly through the boy's hair through it all, and they kept watching.

Soon, the screen went black and it stayed black. Tony looked at Peter, who had his eyes closed.

"Kid-" there was knocking on the front door, cutting Stark off. "Guess that's your breakfast" he mumbled, standing up and heading for the door.

The five star breakfast didn't lighten the mood, and neither did sitting in silence. Tony knew he had to do something to make the atmosphere less...cold.

"Do you want to talk?" He asked carefully.

Peter took a deep breath as he put the empty plate of food on the coffee table in front of him. "Not particularly...sorry" he said softly.

"You don't need to apologize, kid. I just know what you're going through and it sucks. I went through it too. It _really_ sucks. What was worse, though, was nobody realizing that despite my front, I actually _did_ want to talk about it. Desperately, in fact. So if you're in that position, Peter, you've got me" Tony stated, then swallowed and watched the boy anxiously for a response. Peter kept his head down, silent.

The brief moment of silence just worried Tony even more. Was he really that terrible at comforting people?

"Big scary mentor stuff aside, kid. You'd just be talking to me. Tony Stark, your average coffee addict" He added.

Finally, Peter looked up at him. His big brown eyes were full of such _misery_. His lips were pressed together and it was as though he was pleading, silently, for a release.

"I..." Peter looked back down at his lap, swallowed, then continued. "I just feel so angry." His fists clenched around his blanket, but there was still more sadness on his face than any other emotion.

"About what?" Tony asked.

"I-I shouldn't... It's not _fair_. May and Ben didn't ask for me, and I'm the reason- I'm... and I just don't think it's fair that I lived and they didn't when I just cause problems and can't even remember my own parents clearly. Everyone around me just goes. Why them? Like, is it my fault again? If it is, I wish I-"

" _Again?_ What do you mean?" Tony interrupted.

Peter looked as though gravity pressed down extra hard on him. "Ben" the boy nearly whispered. "He was shot by a mugger, Peter" Tony remarked, confused.

"We had gotten in an argument. I ran out of the apartment. He went out into the streets to find me..." Peter explained.

"It's still not your fault" Tony said breathlessly but strongly.

"The spider bite had already happened. I had seen the mugger earlier that day. I could have caught him. I could have tripped him. _Something_."

"It's still not your fault" Tony repeated.

"I saw Ben get shot. He jumped in front of me. I shouldn't have let him. I would have healed. I could have saved him. He died in my arms because of me, because my parents died and I didn't. All that, and I can't even picture their damn faces outside of pictures and videos.

"I should feel more guilty. I shouldn't be happy when they're dead and I'm here and May's broke and Ben's gone and I'm the reason-"

"Stop" Tony interjected abruptly. Peter swallowed. "It's not your fault that Ben or your parents are gone. You're allowed to move on, too. You're allowed to feel joy. Do you understand?" Tony said firmly.

"I could've done something" Peter's voice cracked, and he closed his eyes.

Tony sighed, then put his hand on Peter's knee. "Kid, listen. You won't always have control. You can't save everybody. There are some things that just…happen. Alright? It's a rough lesson to learn, but you've gotta get it, especially as Spider-Man. I hate it, but trust me."

Peter finally looked in his eyes again. "I hate it too" he admitted, his voice weak.

"Yeah, well, it's important to remember. I don't want it keeping you up at night, too. You have to try to forgive yourself, okay? Ben's death isn't your fault. The dickhead that shot him? He's the one to blame. Your parents' deaths were also not your fault. There's nothing you could have done. But now you can help them by carrying on their memory. Not being angry at yourself for grieving is a solid place to start."

Tony could hardly believe he had been able to say something remotely comforting, let alone helpful, but Peter seemed to relax a bit.

"Thank you" the boy said softly. "Anytime, Pete" Tony smiled, then ruffled his hair playfully. "Oh, we've made it to the nickname stage, I see." Peter teased with a small laugh and a sniffle.

"Only if you stop referring to me as Mister Stark" Tony replied. "That would be impolite, Mr. Stark" Peter smirked, curling into his blankets again.

"Jesus, kid. You're gonna give me grey hairs" Tony huffed in response. "Mission accomplished" Peter smiled back receiving a raised eyebrow just a moment later.

"Alright, wise guy, what do you want to do now?" The billionaire asked, proud to have at least lightened the mood.

"Can we watch a movie?" Peter asked, rubbing his red eyes. "Sure, which one?" Tony picked up the remote and leaned back on the couch. "My dad...he, uh, he really liked _Stand by Me_. It's his favorite- was his favorite" Peter replied.

" _Stand by Me_ it is, then. Get comfortable"

The two got settled, found the movie, and watched in silence.

Not long into it, Peter found himself crying again. That's when Tony wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close.

Peter's head was on his shoulder, not even thinking about how it was Tony Stark's shoulder. He was just thinking about how it was someone who was there with him, keeping him from being alone.

_Not alone._

Not long after, Tony realized his shoulder was damp where Peter's cheek rested. He didn't mind.

And later that day when Tony drove Peter to the cemetery, that shoulder was still there for him should he need it.

It always would be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, buddies. Love you all <3


End file.
